Rodnie was moving out of his house and so he held an open house for the possible buyers. Only one humanoid came. (Yes this world does have other humanoid creatures that aren’t humans.)
“Welcome to my abode,” said Rodnie.
“Can I look at something besides the one tree that makes up most of your backyard?” asked the humanoid with fangs.
“No, not until my weird small gremlin creature puts all of my possessions in the U-Haul,” said Rodnie. However this did nothing to stop the vam— I mean, humanoid with fangs who opened the backdoor and saw taxidermy that were all dressed in human clothes like they were dolls but with animal heads. There were many though they all seemed similar. All of them were the body of a doll but with the head removed and a dead creature’s decapitated stuffed head put in place and fur on the doll’s body.
Rodnie then said, “Wait wait I can’t explain.” (Wait, isn’t he supposed to say I CAN explain? Then Rodnie somehow said to the narrator “you heard me right.”) There was one bear that didn’t fit with the others; this one was more stuffed animal-like considering the face had a small snout.
Then the vam- I mean fanged humanoid asked, “Is that a coconut-scented toy from Build a Bear?” (spoiler? warning, it is.)
Rodnie then said, “Well at least the squirrels were killed by my dog who was then killed by my middle school science project that I keep in the attic who was then killed by me.”
“TMI,” said the narrator. Then the weird Gremlin creature came out of the attic with the middle school science project that looked like an amalgamation of oatmeal, copper wires, a potato sack and two breadboards. (Both the one used for bread and the one for hardware.) The Gremlin then said, “Hey, get out of the interior, I’m not done putting furniture and Rodnie’s collection in the U-Haul. If you’ve been wondering who that voice just talking is that you don’t know where it’s coming from, that’s my brother he can just go in the walls.”
Then Rodnie was bitten by the vampire. (See, that was very surprising.)
“Does this mean I don’t have to put all the stuff in the U-Haul now?” said the gremlin.
Photo by Magda Ehlers
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